of Austin Poetry #161-1
- Partnered Poets (submissions closed)
- Remembering Gwendolyn Brooks
- Snowy, dark and deep: tribute to Robert Frost
poems in body of email, no attachments pretty please. Note issue #
and theme on subject line. Include permission to publish. Poets
retain all rights.
had fun with this week's theme: "Bad Poetry." Selections
for your enjoyment:
" The Dog Star" by Danzr Von-Thai
a biopoem by Brenda Roberts
"Advice From The Scholars and Related Bull" by Jean Russell
"What Is Bad Poetry?" by The Quill
"The Critic" by Brian Long
"The Ballad of Fishing Hat Man" by Kit O'Connell
"Paeon to Pee Wee" by Rintin Scrabbleweed
"Cigarette Smoke" by Eric Elton
First up is Danzr Von-Thai from West Virginia:
I am as
to stop me
Brenda Roberts offers her opinion and a sample of bad poetry.
worst poetry I have ever EVER been forced to read was by a group of
children in the first contest that Texoma Poetry Society sponsored
for the Poetry in Schools program from Poetry Society of Texas. The
fact that it was awful I believe was because instead of using this
poetic form to teach how to relate subjects and moving on to share
better forms or encourage free thought, this teacher put the formula
on the board and told each student in the class to follow it exactly.
I would never use one of their poems as an example but I will write
one of my own using that form.
is called a biopoem and has two formats
will use format A:
adjectives that describe me) critical, poetic, smiling,
important relationship) daughter of Elery and
feels -3 feelings) happy, sad, lonely
fears - 3 fears) death, lonliness,
needs - 3 needs) love, health,
gives - 3 items) time, love, poetry
would like to see 3 items) an end to AIDS, World
my lost loved ones again
of -city, state) Fort Worth Texas
is about the least poetic thing I have ever written other than a
Jean Russell of Burke, Va. wrote this for a friend who kept telling
her to conform to the rules.
From The Scholars
you would only study,
learn rhythm and ryhme.
know sonnets and meters
make images sublime.
you don't go to classes
you can't compose a thing
sounds very poetic
makes the heavens sing.
just continue writing
most peculiar stuff
expect people to listen
they have heard enough!
Jean Russell, Poets Anonymous
"The Quill" tackles bad poetry with:
Is Bad Poetry?
are the first
cast dirty stones,
to never put
own lines of
seen and judged
are we to cast
of e.e. cummings
once upon a time, editors and
screamed in print
their ways of thought.
London, and H. Miller
out like yesterday's
by critics and
for many decades.
are we to say
is or is not bad ?
we remind ourselves
the men above
mark every path
poet takes and that
are incontestably legends.
is bad poetry?
the critics who
away like dirt
the street, still spitting
what is bad ...
in need of help.
2000 The Quill
Brian Long, of Austin, might have encountered a critic once or twice.
the reader hard and early:
begin your work with a violence of metaphor.
just like any animal, a poet
leave its scat to mark its limits,
I can tell from this piece of shit
there is a writer somewhere close,
he is most likely wounded--aren't they always?
can follow the ink trail into the brush, where...)
forget the Judas line; deny yourself three times
always kneel on one knee along the path
that the reader may help you bear the cross.
is important to die
the synonyms of the world),
them roll the stone and find the tomb empty.
keys are for opening doors, not for creating your immortality;
is where the words are
like Hindu cattle, and if you must cannabalize,
least make it well done
this seven times on ruled paper:
is not enough."
then eat it, make it a part of you. What comes
the other end might just be your best artistic effort,
at least your most self-gratifying.
the following forms and your poem will appear
our Autumn issue.
Kit O'Connell of Austin says his piece on the subject:
Ballad of Fishing Hat Man
hat wearing psychopath
into the mike
rambles he calls
screams of a razor's edge
his own blood
skin forms scars
time he must
bares his soul
Rintin Scrabbleweed presumes to explain that "this poem was
inspired by the motto/metaphore 'little strokes fell giant oaks,'
and that Pee-Wee Herman was embarrassed by his arrest for semi-public
giant ... Pee-Wees!
note: I suspect the nom de plume "rintin scrabbleweed" is
someone's attempt at anonymity. Oh who might he/she be?
Eric Elton of Austin wrote: "mm...i am dumb and am thinking that
'bad poetry' is just a title and you want any kind of poetry to be
submitted-hell i don't know i'm kinda
here is something i wrote one night when i was really tired...small
gossiping the tails of the virtue of our lives,
still see you sitting there and I still feel
cake is fed to one another slowly releasing my pain
no where till the very next instant of truth
my depression, my friends leave
the smoke tops the water we’re invaded
more solitude, instead you stay with me
said what you wanted to hear
the favor you engulf me in each syllable of the word
in our shared state we make the night ours
I ache with blight sorrow
killing myself with your poise
and tilting my vision is saturated with esurient actions
my eyes to persuade them to see otherwise
is utterly useless, a barrier is laid
me home so that I can swallow my entire dolor
am I suppose to push my heart to beat another beat
in my solitude and heartache I imagine your actions
your desire rush to be your state
am left with nihility
1999 Eric Elton